Thursday, April 12, 2012

A New Beginning - School Girl Swag


Well, I'm like totally late with this post. But, I figured better late then never :) January 5, 2012, I decided I wanted to make the first step in taking my life back. I walked into my college building nervous because I have tried so many times before to go to college but was never able to complete it. The devil (for those that are not of faith you have to over look my expressions) always seemed to try to take my joy when it came to college. This time was no different! I am currently taking Early Childhood Care and Education. I'm a full-time student taking four classes two on campus, and two online. The two classes I take on campus are what they call hybrid classes. I go to campus to receive instruction but turn all of my work in online. Everything was going great, so I thought!!! I just felt since it had been 6 years since my last try at a college education, I needed to get use to all of the work. Yes, my work load is crazy!! Within the first three weeks my laptop shutdown on me. I didn't have the money to repair it and I was so upset I really didn't know what else to do EXCEPT what I was use to WITHDRAW!!

I admit I did a lot of crying, praying, and asking for guidance. I have been through so much with my surgeries, waiting forever for disability, I was just at a cross road. I broke my ankle last year May 16, 2011, two days before my sons big TOYOTA® party. I was proud of myself because I didn't go into a big downward spiral like I usually do being back on crutches. But, I did think over and over here it is just barely a full year after my 3rd foot surgery and I'm back in a cast and on crutches!! I canceled Ke's party but looking back I feel I could have still had it. Everything and a lot of people was ready but I did it based upon how I felt. You know when you can't walk and all your doing is sitting around bored you have a lot of time to think about things. My thoughts over the past few years have been deeper than ever. I began to think that maybe I needed to get out of the house and move around some. I have arthritis and that can be crippling but there are so many restrictions on me because of my feet on what I can and can't do. I just knew I had to get out of the house. My mom (she's a nurse) and my physical therapist both said the same thing I was thinking. Maybe sitting in the house and lack of physical activity is beginning to weaken my bones. So I recked my mind and that's when I KNEW, I had to go back to school. I didn't tell any one about this decision until the last minute because this was something I was determined to do and this time I was more determined than ever to finish. I didn't want to hear any discouraging words others may have had. I felt like in order for me to create a better life in all aspects I had to get out of the house and earn a DEGREE!!

When my laptop shutdown on me I was devastated, heartbroken, I just didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I needed to complete this task. Complete it all the way to the end not just partially. One dark Monday, I walked into that school ready to withdraw. I used the excuse that my computer was down and I wouldn't be able to keep up. Right before I took the paper to my instructor to sign dropping me from my classes the thought of leaving began to sink in. I went to the restroom and tried to get myself together. My mind was going in a thousand different directions. I thought I would be able to drop with no problem but I began to think about how happy I was when I enrolled. I started to feel like I was doing what I always did and quit. I began to pray and ask God to show me the way. Once, I gathered myself I walked to the classroom and spoke with my instructor. God does in deed work miracles!!! I already knew that from past experiences. Long story short my instructor said she would work with me until I could get a new computer. God sent two of his angels to truely watch over me :)



A few weeks before midterm I was blessed enough to purchase a new laptop and a began to catch up on the work I was behind on. My grades as of today are two A's and two B's. This is truly the hardest semester because I have so many classes.  Summer semester I will only have two classes, Fall semester I will have two classes, and next Spring semester (my graduating semester, yay!!) I will be doing my internship. If I can make it through these next two weeks I have demolished that obsticle that was holding me back. I believe now more than ever that prayer is the key and faith unlocks the door! But, my determination to make it and be successful also keeps me going strong!!

16 comments:

  1. That is wonderful to hear that you are taking a degree and that you trusted your faith in what is making you happy and bring out the best of you to continue on the journey. I know it's hard and too easy to just quit, the one thing you are doing is making a stand, choosing happiness and having the courage to see it through. Well done! Many happy returns in all that you do and I wish you much happiness. xx (One of your partners on the 'Check out my Blog' swap on swap-bot) - Ana Goncalves

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    1. Thanks so much! Your kind words really means a lot :)

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  2. Jullie here from swapbot love the look of your blog and you write very well,good luck with your college.
    Hugs
    Jules

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  3. (((HUGS))) I understand what you are going through. I am stuck at a crossroads in my life and do not know where to go. I want to go back to college, but everything is preventing me from doing so. The new church I'm going to is not going so well. My faith in God is diminishing and I want it back. My children need me more than ever. I'm stuck.

    Thanks for writing this. It helps a little.

    Mary (purple24) from Swap-Bot

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    1. **BIG HUG** My Dear when I made the decision to go back to school, I was at a crossroads myself. I foundout for myself, what I had heard everyone talk aboutso much - STEPPING OUT ON FAITH. I didn't have the money financially to drive back and forth nor did I know if my dad would let me use his car. I can't drive mine out of town. Everyone claims they want you to do better. I made up my mind to take my life back either my family would help me or not but I was going to do it!! One of the items on my two list is to read the Bible front to back so I will have my own understanding. You don't need a church to help your faith grow all you need is the good old book and the faith inside of you. You can shop around if you don't feel that is the place for you ;) But, the mighty book and SINCERE prayer will see you through. Good Luck :)

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  4. Good luck with your studies! I know it feels like hell sometimes and you just want to quit (it happens to me every single day!) but you have to stay strong and finish this. You can make it!

    tanchyka from Swap-bot

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    1. Thanks! This semester will be over April 30 :) I can say I made it through the storm lol!! Good Luck to you as well. Quitting is too easy, we can stick it out until we reach our goals :)

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  5. Good luck & many blessings as you make your way toward your graduation goal!! I've gone "back to school" over & over as I've had children, etc. It's exhilarating, scary, and stressful but so worth it to stick it out!!

    mganddg from Swap-bot

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    1. That was the case with me too. I didn't have my son when I was going off and on. I was having other problems like car trouble or problems at work (cutting my hours). It was just always something. But, everything is different now guess that's the way pray works :)

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  6. Congratulations on sticking with your goal! Blessings to you and your family!

    Have a great week!
    Sarah
    Follow Me #2 @ SwapBot

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    1. Thanks so much! Wishing you and yours a great week as well :)

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  7. Good luck on your new blog. I will look forward to watching you go toward your goal. And thanks for signing mine--I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back to you, but it's been a hellish week!

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  8. This was a wonderful post and full of encouragement. I have been thru some storms in my life as well. But I have recently really been serious about asking for guidance and GOD has been faithful. :) So glad to meet you!

    Debra from Stylewisebydebra.blogspot.com or Hachiko @ Swap Bot

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